What men should know about being lied to.
02 Sept 2020
In our daily life lies accompany us at every turn. Politicians shower us with unrealistic promises, producers of goods in adverts shamelessly exaggerate the dignity of their products, and business partners substitute facts to snatch a lucrative tender and the pretty girl from yesterday's party lied a little about her age ... and so on to infinity.
Yes, it happens that people lie to you to protect or not to offend, to flatter, or seem more attractive. There are a lot of little harmless lies around us, which we don’t even notice, but sometimes false information brings disastrous consequences. How to recognize that someone is hiding something? How to react (or not respond) in different situations?
In this article, our experts will conduct a small "excursion" that’ll help you avoid many troubles. They say that in a live talk it’s easy to recognize a person who hides something by body language and facial expressions. So eye contact is one of the obvious signs that will help you.
If someone repeats your question, if he/she thinks for a long time what to answer, fidgets in a chair, or covers his/her face with a hand (touches him/herself by the nose), then most likely he/she is stretching the truth. But in any case, all the situations are unique. So let's look at some of the most common cases.
What if someone’s lying at work.
Business and financial relations are the field that provides many ways and opportunities to conceal the truth or lie for the sake of profit. Using the already mentioned signs you can “read” your business partner. But when making deals, a harmless untruth is often used. When, for example, the equipment supplier doesn’t mention its shortcomings, sticking out its advantages. Or a representative of the bank paints in front of you only the unconditional benefits of the loan without mentioning the number of commissions and interest. You should be on your guard right away if the other person starts speaking quickly and in a “friendly” tone.
Translate the conversation in a constructive way. Ask questions about the age of the equipment or “Could you tell us about the hidden fees for this loan?”. This may provoke your interlocutor to open before you those sides of his goods or services that he’d like to hide. So you can find out the truth and not get caught on the tricks of a liar. If your partner avoids direct answers, turns the conversation to another topic, don’t give him any promises, and don’t allow you to incline to a hasty decision.
In this situation, you can simply say “thank you very much”. If you hire a new employee and notice something during the interview, think about all the details.
What to do when someone’s lying at home.
According to experts, our family life is saturated with lies. It sounds misanthropic and rather frightening. But in reality, there are minor distortions of the truth and silence that are more akin to compromise for the sake of peace in the family than real deception. For example, your spouse slightly “diminishes” the price of a fashionable sweater or doesn’t tell about the misdemeanors of the child or “lies” that she feels good not to upset you.
When returning home late at night, the teenage son invents a story about what happened to him, this is an obvious childhood lie and it occurs only in a house where there are excessive severity and control. Worst of all when your loved one badly lies to you. If you’re jealous (often without cause), then this substitution of truth may be a defensive reaction of a person who doesn’t want a new scandal.
If your beloved woman stretches the truth rather often, it’s really a sign. Make spiritual contact, just spend time with your family, be friendly and understanding, and this will significantly reduce the risk of lying harmful to you and your relationship.
How to tell if someone’s lying to you online.
Nowhere do people lie as often as in online contacts. We spend most of our time on the global web. Yes, a banal situation when an employee of an online store lies to you about the quality, reliability, or speed of delivery of the product. Such things are very important, should be checked and written on the forums so that other buyers know about this.
But when it comes to online dating, there’s a huge scope of fibs. People often stretch the truth on dates and for various reasons. But how to know? Does a person tell you the truth? We communicate and fall in love on the Internet and it can either please us or hurt us. You can’t even doubt that most of the profiles placed on dating sites slightly distort their data to attract and have more choice.
Girls subtract two or three years of age or 3-5 kilograms of weight, they can upload a photo five years ago. Men may give other information about salary or sports hobbies. But if you like the girl, then small details become clear on a live date. They may stretch the truth about matrimony statures. They may be single or divorced, who knows.
But it happens that a girl lies when she meets online for the purpose of fraud. Everything may happen. For example, they can (after reading your profile) write first demonstrating similar interests, they can force events depicting passionate love at first sight. Usually, their photos are gorgeous. Check to see if there are any on the Internet under a different name. An alarm for you should be when a girl begins to ask for monetary support and at the same time she “doesn’t have video chat now”. Serious dating sites always check their girls' profiles.
How to react to a lie?
The question is what to do if you feel this. If this is the first date, the experts offer at least three options to choose from: you can pretend not to notice, you can catch your interlocutor in a lie and politely point it out, you can emphasize in a conversation that you like truthful people and you prefer to trust in a relationship.
In any case, if the girl clearly lies on the first date, then the second is unlikely to follow. If you’ve been dating for a long time or are married and your beloved is hiding something, be patient. Decide how much you value your relationship, be calm, sort things out. Perhaps something happened with mutual trust and you need to discuss together whether your love has a future.
If your child or a friend stretches the truth and you notice it. Decide for yourself how serious (dangerous) this lie is. Do not rush to arrange a "police interrogation" or lose your temper. Calmly point to the "inaccuracies" in the conversation, apply logic, and a sense of humor.
People lie often and for different reasons. Don’t make this a global tragedy, but, it is not necessary to be silent. Don’t pretend to be a gullible simpleton in cases of serious lies from whom it would not proceed. And most importantly, be careful and don’t fall for the liar's hook. And don’t be afraid to chat and love live and online. And let your relationship be free and happy!